Liberation.

I did not check up on your social medias anymore.  I did not think of you most of the time anymore.  Talking about you does not hurt as much anymore.  I am hoping what am feeling will be consistent.  Because, I want to move on and be happy.  With or without you.  If it’s meant to be, then it will be.  Signing off.  10.35pm @ 300622

One thing that I am truly grateful and blessed for the emotional and mental supports given - friends. Going through this road is already hard, but having people around you that actually really care is incalculable.  There is always blessings in disguise if we choose to step back and notice things around us. For my case, I’ve realised that I am always surrounded with people that were continuously giving support and be there when I needed them.  I was never alone.  It’s only because, I am not honest with myself and keeping everything to myself. Every single time, I think am okay but actually I am not. I needed help but I just don’t want to be a burden.  But now, I will be honest with my feelings even if am not entirely sure what this means or why am I feeling this way.  I will allow myself to feel what I feel. Because I know, there is at least one person that will be there no matter what to listen what I’ve got to say. Signing off.  10.39pm @ 290622

Every waking morning, now and then feels aimless.  I would wonder, how am I surviving another day.  The mundane work and this feeling of emptiness.  How much smile or laughter should I be showing today? But every morning, I would take a moment and just stare at the big bright sky or the rainy shady sky.  Is it another wishful day or the otherwise.  Sometimes, the morning sky do look promising.  Seems like it’s telling me - Something good will happen to you today.  And at least for that moment, I do feel some hope.  Just like this picture of mine taken at that brief moment.  Signing off.  10.25pm @ 280622

Self-worth, learn to love yourself more. I have been told this over and over again. I felt pathetic and sorry to myself.  For over feeling and allowing myself to be hurt this much.  That’s the thing about me, letting my emotions controlling me instead of me controlling the emotions.  Putting myself so down, unconsciously drowning. But, I’m allowing myself to start trying now.  It’s definitely not an easy one, but it’s a phase that I need to walk through. There will be times where I will hate myself so much for thinking about it again, missing those moments or imagining the 'almost' and what ifs/what could be.  Again, this is just a phase. You have been through much and I hope you can get through this too because you are so much worthy to be treated right.  Signing off.  12.08am @ 270622